The Mattador: Life Hacks

noun

informal

noun: life hacks

a strategy or technique adopted in order to manage one's time and daily activities in a more efficient way.

Drill a hole in the bottom of your trash can to make it easier to remove the plastic bag. No suction to fight against.
Tired of cold sheets and blankets on a chilly night? Grab a hair dryer and blow under the covers for a few moments before you hop in.
Doritos are great on a campfire if you can't find kindling.
If you are going to a zoo, wear the same color clothes as the employees do. The animals will come right up to you instead of hurrying away.
Do you have a cold but don't want to go through boxes of tissues? After you use up a box of Kleenex, put a roll of toilet paper in it instead and use it as a dispenser.
If you get on a crowded elevator, make your way to the control panel. Hold the "Close Door" button until the door closes. Keep holding it and hold the floor you want to go to. Only let go of the buttons once the elevator has started to move. This will override the other selections and go straight to your floor.

If you ever get caught sleeping on the job or in school, slowly raise your head and say, "In Jesus name, Amen."
When ordering coffee, ask for a medium coffee in a large cup. They will usually overfill it, giving you an inexpensive large coffee.
If you want to tell a believeable story, include an embarrassing detail. People will always believe the story if it makes you look dumb.
If you don't know what to cook for dinner, go to SuperCook.com. You can enter in the ingredients you have and it will give you a bunch of recipes you can make with them.
If you have to buy anything embarrassing, buy a birthday car with it.
Put pancake batter in an old ketchup bottle for mess-free dispensing.

The Mattador